Normal Extraordinary Sunday
This Sunday was very extraordinarily spent by me.
Most of things I did on this Sunday is something I usually do... but if you heard what I did, you wouldn't think I did something so unusual.
Yet, I needed to have this kind of holiday.
I had been exhausted from my crazy work from last week, I was stressed out by my job for the first time in my life.
I had a headache and didn't wanna go to work every morning, but things kept me at office until late at night, and I just hated it so bad.
Anyway... those stress must be released out of my head and body. And my extraordinary Sunday healed me physically and also emotionally.
OK, now I let you know the first unsual thing I did.
I went to a beauty salon, and I got my hair permed, perfectly straight permed.
FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, MY HAIR IS PERFECTLY STRAIGHT!!!
Wow, I was just amazed by a evolution of hair operating technology!!!
It took me about 3 and a half hours to get everything done, and my hair looks so different from my pervious figure!
Now i don't even need to comb my hair, since they are automatically straight and don't get tangled even right after waking up!!! I LOVE IT~~~~~~
Also, my second unsual occurrence (and maybe the most ecccentric) was... I visited Planetarium by myself... hahaha~ it's pretty cool, huh?
I just felt like seeing stars and learning about astronomy.
I remember that my parents took me to a kids science museum with a planetarium when I was a kid, and I was so absorbed into the heavenly bodies that was created in the planetarium theater...
So yeah, I went to the same museum by myself, and all other visitors were family, kids & thier parents.
I was the only one who came there alone, without kids & parents.
But I didn't feel strange or isolated at all.
I was just so excited to see all facilities in the museum.
They have many facilities with instructions to have kids experience science, physics, and space science experiments.
I thougth this kind of "experience museum" opens a door for kids to get interested in those kind of study.
And I'm sure that even adults can enjoy those experiments, because you can not easily touch those kind of experimental facilities in your daily life!
Now I know how much weight I have on the Earth, on the Moon, and on the Jupiter (They actually have three scales to let you see the difference of gravity on those three plants)! I wouldn't bother to let you know my weight though....
I have learned things and enjoyed myself, and also I started wondering things that I had never thought about before... which is fun, and I feel like I became a bit smarter now... he he he~~~
Anyway, in the future, I wanna take my own kids to this kind of museum to make them have a will to be a scientist or astronaut!!!
Links to people
Since I published this blog page to my friends, I've been hearing a lot from my friends who don't usually contact with me. They see what I wrote in the blog and try to talk to me. It's nice to have friends like that, because I can still feel that I am still close to them and they are also willing to share thier life with me. We don't see each other often just because of the geographical reason (we live too far away to meet over weekend) or historical reason (we have just lost keeping in touch due to the laziness) . Either way, I found my friends doing something interesting, and also struggling in the toughness of the real world. Everyone has different life but once I talk to them I can easily share my life with them and understand how we feel for the life, the world, the people, and everything around us.
And now I realized that some poeple are looking forward to read what I write, and that makes me wanna keep talking to everyone. So no matter how happy, sad, disappointed, energitic I am, I should honestly tell my friends about myself, and I wish if that makes them feel easy to talk about themselves as well.
wanna go home
It's almost 9pm, and I'm still at work.
This is not so usual for me, since I have decided to leave office at 8pm at latest.
I've been super busy working this week, since one of my co-worker is out of office for 10 days. She's in Tunisia now.
GAH!
Also another co-worker is, I would say the truth, he is sooooo useless.
Because he is useless, I have to follow up his work... and he leaves office much much earlier than everyone else... NO FAIR~~~~~~!!!!!!!
I don't wanna keep complaining, so let me talk about the current job I'm dealing with right now, since I'm doing nothing but waiting for a reply from a lady in JNB. (I don't like the time difference... I can only get replies from local agents only at night time in Japan.... since they start working when we are about to leave office.....)
* My biggest job is to arrange a photo shooting trip in Africa for 3 months, for a professional photographer. This is such an interesting job, but I've been having a tough time of collecting information from South Africa, Zimbabwe, Zambia, and Namibia...
My client will leave Japan on 15/MAR which is next week, but most of important information he needs are still blank.... oh well, at least the first place he will visit is Victoria falls and we have enough succeeded in arraning this part. This is going to be a loooooong project, I will have to stick to this trip for 3 months from now on....
Yet, I'm having a pride in this project, since communicationg with such a great photo grapher is very rare and I get inspired by him everytime I visit his office.
I like to listen to people who knows what's important to themselves and doesn't lose a sense of making a good decision. He is that kind of person.
* Also I've been dealing with some tours to Egypt & Turkey for handicapped people. Making this kind of trip takes 4 or 5 times more efforts and time than regular trip, since most of the passengers are in thier wheelchars, and that restrict them from visiting some sightseeing points, and staying at some hotels because of the facilities. So there are countless matters to consider , before materializing the trip. It's hard, oh yes, it is. But I kind of like it better than a regular boring trip. Coz some of the passengers in wheelchairs had never even dreamt of visiting Pyramids in Giza due to the too many troubles they may have to take, causeing by thier handicap. So their satisfaction is much bigger than ordinary clients. That makes me feel like I did something very delightful thing to someone's life.
* I'm also trying to propose a new style of trip in Istanbul. Since I like to experience the local life, communicate with local people, rather than visiting famous sightseeing points, I wanted to make a trip that gives the clients a chance to experience the culture. And I have made a model plan of 6 days stay in Istanbul, that can allow the clients to visit local house in Istanbul to learn local Turkish food! Doesn't it sound fun??? It does, at least to me. I have submitted this plan to several agents, and they seemed very interested in it. Yet, it will take a long time to let this plan materialized and sold as a productive tour plan. Let's see.....
ok, now looks like I've got a mail from Egypt & South Africa~~~
I'm gonna beat these message immidediately and head myself to my home~~~
Yellow
It's such a lovely day today.Not cold, not windy, and I smell Spring outside.This my happy feeling makes me wanna sing my favorite song "Yellow" by coldplay.Look at the starsLook how they shine for you and everything you doyeah they were all yellowI came along I wrote a song for youand all the things you doand it was called yellow....Yaay!!!
去年の夏、丹沢にキャンプに行きました。
今日、ちょうど一緒に行った、高校の友達三好君とお話しする機会があったので、
ここにその写真をアップいたします。
見てください。
そして、遅くなって申し訳ありませんでした！
I spent 8 days in Bali.
My perfect vacation. It WAS a paradise.
If you wanna know more about my trip... buy me a glass of beer, I will be always ready to stay up whole night to talk about my fantastic trance trip!!!
Only one thing I can tell you right now is...
I chose Bali this time, from many other countries I wanna visit. and Yes, I made a best decision.
And thanks for my trip buddy, Dai, for making my trip more exciting, relaxing, fun, and tasty!!!
Letters
While I was cleaning my room today, I found some letters I wrote to my friends a few years ago.
Some were for my ex-boy friend, and some were for my friends who lived far from Japan. I was just telling them about my feeling and my current life, and trying to get to know their life and catch up with their life, even though I was so away from them that I couldn't even know when I could be able to see them next time.
In the letter, I was talking to them just like how I did to them while I was living close to them and easily got to see them anytime I wanted.
As I read what I wrote, I became very amazed by seeing how honest and inocent I was.
I was trying to explain what I did and how I felt, and also expressed my fear of not being with them and being left alone in Japan. I could see that I was having a hard time to deal with this "missing" feeling by myself, and also I could understand why I didn't send this letter and kept in my drawer.
It's because I knew that I was just an emotional childish lonely girl, and I was kind of feeling ashamed of it, I guess. And I didn't have enough nerve to struggle to make my friends to feel sympathy to me, even though I wanted them to think about me and care about me so bad.
I have this kind of experiences many times. And everytime I encountered this kind of situation, I have pretended that I am ok by myself, but in fact, I always wanted someone to care about me. See how childish I was! And I'm still having a same problem.
At least, now I can manage this loneliness more easily than I used to be.
Now that I'm a bit (only a bit) matured, I have been skilled to kind of "give up" expecting someone who is away from me to care about me.
This might be sad to be skilled like that, but that's how my heart has been trained.
Now it's easy for me to persuade myself that I can not emotionaly depend of someone who can not be with me right next to me, because distance matters a lot.
No matter how much I care for people, they are away and naturally our relationship gets faded away little by little.
We could be still good friends, but now the life of each other is so different and it's pretty hard to share same value or feeling, just because we are away.
Distance doesn't change how I feel to other people, but it does change how close I can feel to and how deep I can rely on.
I know that human being naturally feel more close to someone who exists right next to you.
You can not preserve only your past time, because your life exists only now.
No matter how happy you were in the past, no matter how sad you were in the past, you can just live your current life and you must find a way to survive your current life.
Time chains to past and future, but you can only feel "now".
So I have to be happy right now. I can not only look back the past or expect a better future. I know this is really tough thing to do. I don't even know if I can be strong enough to live like that.
But at least... I wanna be selfish to think about my current happiness.
I guess everyone has a right to do that.
はてなのつくはなし。
普通に生きてるだけなのに、世の中には、いろんな場面ではてな？と思うことにぶつかる。
どうして、自分の求めている状況と、実際私に起こり得る事実は、こんなにも違うんだろう？
自分がこうしたい、こうありたい、こう思われたい、こうなりたい、って望むことは当たり前のことで、
それが、自分の努力次第でどうにかなるものならば、頑張りがいもあるってもんだけど、
大抵の場合、私にとっては、自分の努力なんて結局結果には影響しないんだろうな、とか冷めてみちゃってることが多い。
その反面、人にどう思われようが自分の思うとおりに、うがーって動いてしまおうかなと願ったりもする。そういう風に行動できれば、後悔はないし、自分自身はすっきりするんだろうけど、でも、でもでも、
それによって迷惑をこうむる人がいたり、今のまぁまぁの現状をかえって悪くしてしまうかもしれない危険性が伴ったり、なんだか怖くていつも踏み出せないなあ、と思う。
ずるいよなぁ。
自分はいつも、ちょっと離れた所にいて、周りの様子を見ながらじゃないと、
何の決断も出来ない。
リスクがあるなら、その程度をとことんつきつめて、
自分の足場がしっかりしてるか確かめてからじゃないと、私は行動できない。
はー。。。
だから、うまくいってほしいことがうまくいかないのかな。
そういうずるい方法ばっか考えてるから。
だからかな。
そして、誰かに頼りたいのに誰にも頼れなくて、
平気なふりをして、なんとなくためこんで、助けて欲しいのに自分から助けてって言えない、
誰かが、もしくは、何かが自然に少しでも解決に近づく風を吹かしてくれるのを待ってるだけで、
自分から行動して、自分の事を面倒見たり、友達や大事な人へ気を使ったり、
そういうことを面倒くさがって怖がって、そしていつまでもじっとしてたり。
そんなんだから、いつまでたっても、
はてな、はてな、はてな、ってぐるぐると苦しまなきゃならんのかな。
かな？
そうなのかな？
みんなどういうふうに立ち向ってんのかな？
？？？
